Date: April 8th 2006

THE LOST MY PARTNER NEWSLETTER

Vol. I, Issue I May, 2004

Brought to you monthly by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster, authors of Lost My Partner - What'll I Do?; A Clear, Practical Guide For Coping and Finding Strength When Your Spouse Dies.

************************

Hello and welcome to our newsletter! We know how losing a spouse can turn your whole world upside down. It can also make concentrating on anything, even an online newsletter, really difficult. Just as we've done with our bereavement book, Lost My Partner - What'll I Do?, we've specially designed this newsletter to make getting valuable professional advice "user-friendly". Each month, we'll offer comfort, reassurance and practical strategies as well as useful tips from our readers.

We want to make this newsletter an ongoing source of support you can turn to at any time, so please let us know how we can make it even better. Your ideas and suggestions are encouraged and welcome.

Let us hear from you at: contact@lostmypartner.com

Thanks for joining us.

Warmest Wishes, Ruth & Laurie

************************

MONTHLY FEATURE

TO KEEP OR NOT TO KEEP... 7 Tips for Deciding What to Do With Your Spouse's Belongings (Copyright 2004 by Laurie J. Spector, M.S.W. & Ruth Spector Webster, M.S.W. All rights and all media reserved.)

How do you know when the time is right to clear out your spouse's belongings? This important decision has few clear guidelines. Well-meaning family and friends may pressure you to "get rid of" cherished possessions you don't feel ready to let go of. Or you yourself may feel anxious to "get rid of" painful reminders of your loss. But what's the rush? We urge you not to "get rid of" anything before you first consider these tips:

1. Trust your own instincts about the right time to tackle this difficult process. Take your time and don't rush. The hasty decision you make today may become tomorrow's regret.

2. Ask a trusted family member or friend for help in packing things up and/or making arrangements.

3. Set a realistic timetable for completing this process. Make allowances for how grief is affecting you. Assume there will be times when, despite your best intentions, you won't feel up to dealing with this.

4. Start by first getting rid of items you feel least attached to. Try to imagine what your spouse would want done with their possessions.

5. Don't kid yourself into believing that by getting rid of "painful reminders", you can avoid the pain. Allowing yourself to feel the loss is an important part of getting through it and is actually emotionally beneficial in the long run.

6. Hold on to whatever possessions give you comfort right now.

7. Move items you're undecided about to another location, such as rented storage. This allows you some breathing space before making more permanent decisions.

Be sure to give yourself the time you need and trust your instincts about what's best for you.

************************

YOUR QUESTIONS

"When should I stop wearing my wedding ring?"

It's up to you. There are no firm rules about if and when to take this emotionally loaded step. You might practice removing the ring for short periods and see how you feel. Or try a more gradual change by shifting the ring to another finger, different hand, or a chain you wear around your neck.

************************

GETTING THROUGH THE DAYS; Our Readers' Tips

"Since my husband's death, I feel safer responding to unwanted telephone calls by saying, 'He's not available right now. Please don't call back.' " Beverly F.

************************

Discovered a coping strategy that works for you? Share it with others in future newsletters. Email us at: contact@lostmypartner.com

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell friends and/or colleagues about it.

If you're interested in obtaining a copy/copies of the book, Lost My Partner - What'll I Do?, telephone toll free: 1-877-727-3814. Or visit our website: www.lostmypartner.com