Date: April 9th 2006

THE LOST MY PARTNER NEWSLETTER

VOL. I, Issue 2 June, 2004

Brought to you monthly by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster, authors of Lost My Partner - What'll I Do?; A Clear, Practical Guide For Coping and Finding Strength When Your Spouse Dies

Hello and welcome to our newsletter! We know how losing a spouse can turn your whole world upside down. It can also make concentrating on anything, even an online newsletter really difficult. Just as we' ve done with our bereavement book, Lost My Partner - What'll I Do?, we specially designed this newsletter to make getting valuable professional advice "user-friendly" . Each month we offer comfort, reassurance and practical strategies as well as useful tips from our readers.

We want to make this newsletter on ongoing source of support you can turn to any time, so please let us know how we can make it more relevant for you. We welcome any suggestions or ideas that you'd like to share with us.

Let us hear from you at: contact@lostmypartner.com

Thanks for joining us.

Warmest Wishes,

Ruth & Laurie

************************

MONTHLY FEATURE

NOW IT'S UP TO YOU; How To Tackle Your New Responsibilities

When it comes to handling your spouse's former responsibilities or chores, do you find yourself saying, "But (he or she) always took care of that!" You might say it in anger because you feel abandoned or you might say it in despair because you feel helpless about taking on duties you've never had to do before.

Whether it's carrying out the trash, managing finances, cooking or overseeing home repairs, the prospect of taking on the roles your spouse once assumed can feel overwhelming. Keep in mind that over time, you and your partner went through an adjustment period. This allowed you both to settle into the duties that felt most comfortable for each of you. Now everything is on your shoulders. It isn't easy adapting to new challenges but here is how to gain confidence as you try:

A. Remember, you don't have to be instant expert. It takes time and repetition to master any new task.

B. Ask others for help. Everyone loves to be asked for advice. Family and friends are eager to "do something" for you and will welcome any opportunity to either assist with chores or teach you the skills you need to accomplish them yourself.

C. Go online to gather "How To" information about anything from basic cooking techniques to hiring repair contractors.

D. Check your local library and consult the reference librarian. There are "How To" books specifically written for first-timers of both genders.

E. Consider enrolling in adult school or college extension courses to provide guidance and structure as you learn new skills.

************************

YOUR QUESTIONS

"Whenever friends ask me out to dinner or other events, I never know what to say because I'm not sure how I'll be feeling when the time comes to get together."

After thanking your friends for their interest, remind them that because of your loss, every day has its ups and downs. Ask your friends if it's okay to notify them a day or so ahead of the occasion, so you don't feel pressured and have a better idea of what you're up for. Most people are very understanding.

************************

GETTING THROUGH THE DAYS; Our Readers' Tips

"When I recently misplaced my car keys, I panicked. My daughter- in-law suggested that I ask a neighbor I trust to temporarily keep duplicate sets of my car and house keys until I feel less absentminded. My neighbor was very understanding and I'm reassured knowing I have a 'back-up system'".

Anita F.

************************

Discovered a coping strategy that works for you? Share it with others in future newsletters. Email us at: contact@lostmypartner.com

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell your friends and/or colleagues about it.

If you're interested in obtaining a copy/copies of the book, Lost My Partner - What'll I Do?, telephone toll free at 1-877-727-3814 or visit our website: www.lostmypartner.com

(Copyright 2004 by Laurie J. Spector, M.S.W. and Ruth Spector Webster, M.S.W. All rights and all media reserved.)