Date: April 9th 2006

THE LOST MY PARTNER NEWSLETTER

VOL. II, Issue 1 January, 2005

Brought to you monthly by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster, authors of Lost My Partner ­ What’ll I Do?; A Clear, Practical Guide For Coping and Finding Strength When Your Spouse Dies

Hello and welcome to our newsletter! We know how losing a spouse can turn your whole world upside down. It can also make concentrating on anything, even an online newsletter really difficult. Just as we’ve done with our bereavement book, Lost My Partner ­ What’ll I Do?, we specially designed this newsletter to make getting valuable professional advice “user-friendly”. Each month we offer comfort, reassurance and practical strategies as well as useful tips from our readers.

We want to make this newsletter on ongoing source of support you can turn to any time, so please let us know how we can make it more relevant for you. We welcome any suggestions or ideas that you’d like to share with us.

Let us hear from you at: contact@lostmypartner.com

Thanks for joining us.

Warmest Wishes,

Ruth and Laurie

MONTHLY FEATURE

FIVE SIMPLE RESOLUTIONS FOR A NEW YEAR WITHOUT YOUR SPOUSE

Give yourself a big pat on the back ­ you’ve just survived the holidays, one of the toughest times for anyone grieving a loss. Now you’re probably looking ahead and wondering how you’ll ever make it through the next twelve months. Here are five suggestions to help gently ease you along the bumpy road of bereavement:

1. Remember to keep any resolutions realistic. You’re not your usual self while you’re grieving, so be gentle with yourself.

2. Set at least one small, “bite-size” goal every day,such as making two phone calls. Be sure to reward yourself after each effort.

3. Think back to the person you were before you married. Can you remember any hobbies or interests that you might have set aside due to family responsibilities? Consider participating in those former activities once again. Local adult schools or community groups offer many opportunities to freshen up your skills.

4. Reach out to others more. Make a new friend. While widowed groups offer the chance to meet others who can relate to what you’re going through, there are opportunities in your neighborhood such as clubs and organizations that can be great sources of meeting people who may share other interests with you.

5. Consider all the self-imposed barriers you’ve put up over the years about what you can and can’t do. Now is the time to confront those old beliefs about yourself. Slowly begin to tackle a few of the things your spouse used to handle, such as minor household repairs or cooking.

If you can put even one of the above resolutions into action, you’ll be giving yourself the gift of greater self-confidence with which to face the new year.

YOUR QUESTIONS

“It will be coming up on a year in December that my husband died. Although we had a very rocky relationship just before he got really sick, I put that all aside to take care of him. I now remember how the marriage was at most times not good and feel overwhelmed about that. How can I now cope with the bad memories without feeling guilty?” Kathy P.

All marriages have their ups and downs, but one that was especially troubled can complicate the grieving process because of mixed feelings. It’s normal to recall the pain and upset you experienced with your husband. Give yourself permission to be human and remember you did the best you could at that time. Check out the chapter “Battling Guilt and Remorse” in our book, Lost My Partner. It may also help to get some professional help in sorting through and coping with your feelings.

GETTING THROUGH THE DAYS; Our Readers’ Tips

“ I’ve decided to pamper myself more, especially during this tough time in my life. I treat myself to a manicure and it really gives me a lift.” Jackie W.

Discovered a coping strategy that works for you? Share it with others in future newsletters. Email us at: contact@lostmypartner.com

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell your friends and/or colleagues about it.

If you’re interested in obtaining a copy/copies of the book, Lost My Partner ­ What’ll I Do?, telephone toll free at 1-877-727-3814 or visit our website: www.lostmypartner.com

(Copyright 2005 by Laurie J. Spector, M.S.W. and Ruth Spector Webster, M.S.W. All rights and all media reserved.)