Date: April 9th 2006

THE LOST MY PARTNER NEWSLETTER

Vol. II, Issue 6 June, 2005

Brought to you monthly by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster, authors of Lost My Partner ­ What’ll I Do?; A Clear, Practical Guide For Coping and Finding Strength When Your Spouse Dies

Hello and welcome to our newsletter! We know how losing a spouse can turn your whole world upside down. It can also make concentrating on anything, even an online newsletter really difficult. Just as we’ve done with our bereavement book, Lost My Partner ­ What’ll I Do?, we specially designed this newsletter to make getting valuable professional advice “user-friendly”. Each month we offer comfort, reassurance and practical strategies as well as useful tips from our readers.

We want to make this newsletter on ongoing source of support you can turn to any time, so please let us know how we can make it more relevant for you.

We welcome any suggestions or ideas that you’d like to share with us.

Let us hear from you at: contact@lostmypartner.com

Thanks for joining us.

Warmest Wishes,

Ruth and Laurie

MONTHLY FEATURE

A VACATION FOR ONE

One of the most difficult steps after losing your spouse is planning your first vacation without him or her. You probably aren’t feeling like your usual self, so it can be hard to summon the happy anticipation that “getting away” used to bring. Visiting familiar places can bring back the pain of the loss. Before you start making reservations, consider the following:

a. Team up with a family member or friend who is compatible. If you’re uncertain how you’ll get along, try going away for a weekend together before committing to a longer trip.

b. New places can offer new experiences and a chance to create new memories.

c. Remember that feelings of loss may come up unexpectedly. Give yourself permission to grieve even though you’re supposed to be “getting away” from things.

d. If you find yourself traveling constantly the first year after the death, it may be a way of avoiding the grief process. Grief has a way of catching up when not attended to.

e. Don’t be surprised if, when you return home, there’s a moment when you expect to be greeted by your spouse.

Despite some discomforts, taking a vacation on your own can also be filled with pleasurable new discoveries and opportunities for gaining self-confidence. So start packing!

YOUR QUESTIONS

"The anniversary of my husband’s death is next week. My children want me to join them for an annual dinner dance that my husband and I used to attend every year. I just don’t feel right about going alone but my daughter is really pushing me to go and says my son-in-law will be glad to be my partner during the dancing. What should I do?" Miriam Z.

The decision is yours, of course but it is always difficult for the recently widowed at these occasions. Although thoughtful men (like your son-in-law) may offer to dance with you it “won’t be the same”. You may want to take a pass this year. Thank your daughter and suggest that by next year you’ll feel differently and will gladly take your son-in-law up on his offer at that time.

GETTING THROUGH THE DAYS; Our Readers’ Tips

"Whenever I feel overwhelmed by everything that needs doing, I write a priority list. As I accomplish each task, I give myself a verbal “pat on the back”, and let myself feel good about what I’ve just completed." Jim J.

Discovered a coping strategy that works for you? Share it with others in future newsletters.

Email us at: contact@lostmypartner.com

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell your friends and/or colleagues about it.

If you’re interested in obtaining a copy/copies of the book, Lost My Partner ­ What’ll I Do?, telephone toll free at 1-877-727-3814 or visit our website: www.lostmypartner.com

(Copyright 2005 by Laurie J. Spector, M.S.W. and Ruth Spector Webster, M.S.W. All rights and all media reserved.)