THE LOST MY PARTNER NEWSLETTER 

 

VOL. III,    Issue 5       May, 2006

 

 

 

Brought to you monthly by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster, authors of Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do?; A Clear, Practical Guide For Coping and Finding Strength When Your Spouse Dies

 

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Hello and welcome to our improved newsletter format! We’ve also updated our website, so check out the new features.

 

We know how losing a spouse can turn your whole world upside down. It can also make concentrating on anything, even an online newsletter really difficult. Just as we’ve done with our bereavement book, Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do?, we specially designed this newsletter to make  valuable professional advice “user-friendly”. Each month we offer comfort, reassurance and practical strategies as well as useful tips from our readers.

 

We want to make this newsletter on ongoing source of support you can turn to any time, so please let us know how we can make it more relevant for you. We welcome any suggestions or ideas that you’d like to share with us.

 

Let us hear from you at: contact@lostmypartner.com

 

Thanks for joining us.

 

Warmest Wishes,

Ruth and Laurie

 

 

 

MONTHLY FEATURE

 

 

GRIEF VERSUS THE BLUES; IT’S IMPORTANT TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE

 

Normal bereavement is often confused with clinical depression. They have similar symptoms (sadness, loss of energy and appetite), but there are differences when it comes to how they should be treated. Even doctors don’t always realize these differences and may be quick to prescribe medication that can hamper a normal bereavement process.

 

Major depression is:

1.  A reaction to various causes such as a life transition (i.e. children leaving   home), a situation (i.e. losing a job or moving), or childhood trauma.

2.  An emotional disorder that requires the identification of underlying causes and treatment by a professional. The goal of treatment is to stop the emotional distress as quickly as possible.

 

Normal bereavement is:

1.      A reaction to an actual recent death.

2.      A normal, appropriate reaction that needs to be given sufficient time to be resolved.

 

It’s possible to experience major depression while you’re also grieving a recent loss. For example, you may be struggling with additional stresses (financial, family conflicts) as a result of losing your spouse. An experienced mental health professional can be useful in helping you sort through this.

 

They can also refer you to a psychiatrist (a physician who specializes in medication for emotional concerns), who can discuss the best medication to TEMPORARILY help you deal with some of the symptoms of grief. Remember: the longer you postpone dealing with your bereavement, the longer the process will take.

 

 

NOTE: Want to learn more about the various symptoms of grief? Go to www.lostmypartner.com and click onto ‘Sample Chapter’ to read “Not Normal Is Normal” (excerpted from our book, Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do?).

 

 

 

YOUR QUESTIONS

 

“My wife recently died. We have a teenage son. I don’t want to cry in front of him but it’s hard to find a time or place where I can let out my grief.”    Brent A.

 

Tears are a healthy expression of your loss and holding them back only delays the grief process. Although children can become anxious seeing a parent cry, you can reassure them that tears are a normal reaction to feeling sad and missing someone. Always assure them that you’re still here and will take care of them. Sometimes, however, privacy is a concern. We suggest you try crying in the shower, on a walk in a secluded place, or sitting alone in your (parked) car. 

 

 

Discovered a coping strategy that works for you? Share it with others in future newsletters. Email us at: contact@lostmypartner.com

 

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell your friends and/or colleagues about it.

 

If you’re interested in obtaining a copy/copies of the book, Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do?,telephone toll free at 1-877-727-3814 or visit our website: www.lostmypartner.com

 

Remember that our new mailing address is: Mc Cormick Press, c/o P.O. Box 6877, Beverly Hills, CA 90212-6877.

 

(Copyright 2006 by Laurie J. Spector, M.S.W. and Ruth Spector Webster, M.S.W. All rights and all media reserved.)