THE LOST MY PARTNER NEWSLETTER 

VOL. III,    Issue 6               June, 2006

Brought to you monthly by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster, authors of Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do?; A Clear, Practical Guide For Coping and Finding Strength When Your Spouse Dies

NOTE: Our new mailing address is:

McCormick Press,

c/o P.O. Box 6877,

Beverly Hills, Ca 90212-6877

Hello and welcome to our newsletter! We know how losing a spouse can turn your whole world upside down. It can also make concentrating on anything, even an online newsletter really difficult. Just as we’ve done with our bereavement book, Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do?, we specially designed this newsletter to make getting valuable professional advice “user-friendly”. Each month we offer comfort, reassurance and practical strategies as well as useful tips from our readers.

We want to make this newsletter on ongoing source of support you can turn to any time, so please let us know how we can make it more relevant for you. We welcome any suggestions or ideas that you’d like to share with us.

Thanks for joining us.

Warmest Wishes,

Ruth and Laurie

MONTHLY FEATURE

I Don’t Need This Right Now; Coping With the Usual At an Unusual Time

Daily life is full of things that go wrong or break down: the refrigerator goes on the blink, the car needs new brakes, or the plumbing creates a disaster. Some of these problems may have been neglected during your spouse’s illness, but now demand your attention.

Having to deal with these headaches while you’re grieving can feel overwhelming. Before you give up in despair, try these strategies:

1.    Prioritize. Which tasks are most urgent? What can wait a while?

2.    Get support. Although you may be very capable under normal circumstances, this is not a “normal” time for you. For now, it’s okay to ask family, friends and neighbors for assistance.

3.    Give yourself permission to make a mistake. If you later find that you didn’t make the best decision to solve a problem, be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that you’re going through one of life’s most stressful experiences. At least you did something to handle a problem.

Remember: For now, your usual coping abilities are not working as they used to. This is only temporary! You will get better.

YOUR QUESTIONS

“My husband died two months ago. Since then, there’s a million things I have to take care of. Most days I don’t know if I’m coming or going. Whenever my daughter calls, she starts making suggestions about how I should get out more and join groups and things. Our conversations usually end with me getting upset and snapping at her. I love my daughter dearly and don’t want to ruin our relationship but I don’t know how to handle it when she keeps pushing me with suggestions.”       Sharon L.

When others start making suggestions, it’s often their way of expressing caring, however misguided it may sound. Try acknowledging her concern by saying something like, ‘I really appreciate your support but I’m just not ready to take that step right now. I’ll let you know when I am.’

LOOK FOR OUR NEXT ISSUE IN SEPTEMBER.

Discovered a coping strategy that works for you? Share it with others in future newsletters. Email us at: contact@lostmypartner.com

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell your friends and/or colleagues about it.

If you’re interested in obtaining a copy/copies of the book, Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do?, telephone toll free at 1-877-727-3814 or visit our website: www.lostmypartner.com