THE LOST MY PARTNER NEWSLETTER  

 

VOL. IV, Issue 1    January, 2007

 

 

Brought to you monthly by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster, authors of Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do?; A Clear, Practical Guide For Coping and Finding Strength When Your Spouse Dies

 

 

www.lostmypartner.com

newsletter@lostmypartner.com

contact@lostmypartner.com

 

 

Hello and welcome to our newsletter! We know how losing a spouse can turn your whole world upside down. It can also make concentrating on anything, even an online newsletter really difficult. Just as we’ve done with our bereavement book, Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do?, we specially designed this newsletter to make getting valuable professional advice “user-friendly”. Each month we offer comfort, reassurance and practical strategies as well as useful tips from our readers.

 

We want to make this newsletter on ongoing source of support you can turn to any time, so please let us know how we can make it more relevant for you. We welcome any suggestions or ideas that you’d like to share with us.

 

Let us hear from you at: contact@lostmypartner.com

 

Thanks for joining us.

 

Warmest Wishes,

Ruth and Laurie

 

 

 

MONTHLY FEATURE

 

(Here’s the popular article from our January, 2005 issue)

 

 

FIVE SIMPLE RESOLUTIONS FOR A NEW YEAR WITHOUT YOUR SPOUSE

 

Give yourself a big pat on the back! You’ve just survived the holidays, one of the toughest times for anyone grieving a loss. Now you’re probably looking ahead and wondering how you’ll ever make it through the next twelve months. Here are five suggestions to help gently ease you along the bumpy road of bereavement:

 

1. Remember to keep any resolutions realistic. You’re not your usual self while you’re grieving, so be gentle with yourself.

 

2. Set at least one small, “bite-size” goal every day, such as tackling a couple of tasks. Be sure to reward yourself after each effort.

 

3. Think back to the person you were before you married. Can you remember any hobbies or interests that you might have set aside due to family responsibilities? Consider participating in those former activities once again. Local adult schools or community groups offer many opportunities to freshen up your skills.

 

4. Reach out to others more. Make a new friend. While widowed groups offer the chance to meet others who can relate to what you’re going through, there are opportunities in your neighborhood such as clubs and organizations that can be great sources of meeting people who may share other interests with you.

 

5. Consider all the self-imposed barriers you’ve put up over the years about what you can and can’t do. Now is the time to confront those old beliefs about yourself.  Slowly begin to tackle a few of the things your spouse used to handle, such as minor household repairs or cooking.

 

 

If you can put even one of the above resolutions into action, you’ll be giving yourself the gift of greater self-confidence with which to face the new year.

 

 

 

 

YOUR QUESTIONS

 

“Recently my daughter has been wanting to discuss some problems she’s having with her marriage. My wife was always the one who handled this sort of thing. I get angry about having to deal with these family problems and I resent it that my wife isn’t around so I don’t have the pressure. Am I just being selfish?”   Jerry R.

 

It’s understandable that you feel uncomfortable in a new role with your family. Try thinking back to what your wife used to say in similar circumstances. After years with her, you can probably imagine what she would say. Let this guide you and trust your own judgment as a father. Rather than providing a “solution” to her concerns, your daughter may just need the reassurance that one of her parents is still around for support.

 

 

 

Discovered a coping strategy that works for you? Share it with others in future newsletters. Email us at: contact@lostmypartner.com

 

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell your friends and/or colleagues about it.

 

If you’re interested in purchasing a copy/copies of the book, Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do?, visit our website: www.lostmypartner.com or telephone toll free at 1-877-727-3814.

 

 

(Copyright 2007 by Laurie J. Spector, M.S.W. and Ruth Spector Webster, M.S.W. All rights and all media reserved.)