THE LOST MY PARTNER NEWSLETTER

 

VOL. IV, Issue 4    April, 2007

 

 

Brought to you monthly by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster, authors of Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do?; A Clear, Practical Guide For Coping and Finding Strength When Your Spouse Dies

 

 

www.lostmypartner.com

newsletter@lostmypartner.com

contact@lostmypartner.com

 

 

Hello and welcome to our newsletter! We know how losing a spouse can turn your whole world upside down. It can also make concentrating on anything, even an online newsletter really difficult. Just as we’ve done with our bereavement book, Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do? we specially designed this newsletter to make getting valuable professional advice “user-friendly”. Each month we offer comfort, reassurance and practical strategies as well as useful tips from our readers.

 

We want to make this newsletter on ongoing source of support you can turn to any time, so please let us know how we can make it more relevant for you. We welcome any suggestions or ideas that you’d like to share with us.

 

Let us hear from you at: contact@lostmypartner.com

 

Thanks for joining us.

 

Warmest Wishes,

Ruth and Laurie

 

 

 

MONTHLY FEATURE

 

 

Seven Tips for Getting Through the Night

 

During bereavement, it’s normal to experience some disturbance in your normal sleep habits. Some people can’t fall asleep while others may awaken after a few hours.

Instead of berating yourself in frustration, try these time-proven tips:

 

1.    Don’t look at the clock. It only adds more pressure to the situation.

2.    Write down any persistent thoughts or worries. This helps “move” them out of your mind and onto a page.

3.    Listen to music or a talk show at such a low volume that you have to strain to hear it. This helps divert you from other concerns.

4.    Listen to a relaxation or meditation tape or CD.

5.    Get out bed and sit in a chair. Read a boring book, watch a boring television show or focus on something that will lull you back to sleep.

6.    Do a repetitive activity such as vacuuming or sorting papers.

7.    Try to get some mild exercise earlier in the day. Although grief can make you feel less energetic, it’s important to add some gentle physical activity to help your body “tire out”.

 

As you struggle to get through a sleepless night, here are some words of caution:

 

1.    Avoid alcohol. Although it makes you feel relaxed, it also increases depression, as well as causing a hangover. Drink warm milk or cocoa instead.

2.    Consult your physician about a temporary sleep aid. Medication can help for the worst nights but in the long term only slows down and delays the normal bereavement process.

3.    Avoid your computer. Online activity tends to create more mental stimulation.

 

Remember to be patient and gentle with yourself. If you continue to experience sleep disturbances after several months, consider getting professional help to deal with the concerns that are troubling you.

 

 

YOUR QUESTIONS

 

“I haven’t visited my husband’s grave since his funeral four years ago. My family and friends have offered to go with me but I just can’t bring myself to go. I feel guilty. What should I do?”       Joan M.

 

Visiting the gravesite is a very personal choice. While some people find regular visits comforting, others find it too upsetting and choose not to visit. Some visit only on special occasions or holidays. As with all other aspects of bereavement, you should trust your own sense of what feels right for you.

 

 

 

Discovered a coping strategy that works for you? Share it with others in future newsletters. Email us at: contact@lostmypartner.com

 

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell your friends and/or colleagues about it.

 

If you’re interested in obtaining a copy/copies of the book, you can buy immediately on our website, www.lostmypartner.com. Or telephone toll free at 1-877-727-3814.

 

 

(Copyright 2007 by Laurie J. Spector, M.S.W. and Ruth Spector Webster, M.S.W. All rights and all media reserved.)