THE LOST MY PARTNER NEWSLETTER

 

VOL. V, Issue 5 May, 2008

 

 

Brought to you monthly by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster, authors of Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do?; A Clear, Practical Guide For Coping and Finding Strength When Your Spouse Dies

 

 

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contact@lostmypartner.com

 

 

Hello and welcome to our newsletter!

 

Our long-awaited new edition of Lost My Partner-What’ll I Do? Enlarged and Revised Edition is now available. Order online during the month of May and receive the special pre-publication discount! Visit our website and discover the valuable new chapters and updates we’ve added to our bereavement guide.

 

Our monthly newsletters will continue to provide you with comfort, reassurance, practical strategies and useful tips.

 

We welcome any suggestions or ideas that you’d like to share with us.

 

Let us hear from you at: contact@lostmypartner.com

 

Thanks for joining us.

 

Warmest Wishes,

Ruth and Laurie

 

 

 

 

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It’s Here!

 

The new Lost My Partner; Revised & Enlarged Edition!

 

Order online during the month of May while you still the pre-publication discount of 15% off the list price.

 

Visit www.lostmypartner.com to learn more and order now.

 

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MONTHLY FEATURE

 

 

After The Funeral; Part II: Once the Visits Stop

 

In the period following your spouse’s funeral, you were probably caught up in a flurry of visits and invitations from family and friends as well as the tasks of legal and financial paperwork. Once the distraction and comfort these provide begin to taper off however, you may find yourself feeling:

 

·         The pain of your loss more acutely as the initial shock wears off.

·         A sense of abandonment, both by your spouse and others you depend on.

·         A sense of being unsettled, as you ask yourself “Where do I go from here?”

·         Overwhelmed by the challenge of how to put your life back together again.

 

Keep in mind that others usually take their cues from you about how much or how little interaction you want or need. Although you’re probably finding it a struggle just to get out of bed each day, please consider the following:

 

1.    It’s okay to reach out to others. They will probably be pleasantly surprised to receive a phone call or e-mail from you.

2.    Keep it simple. Suggest an activity like coffee, a meal or a movie that involves a minimal time commitment from you during this difficult period.

3.    Look into widowed groups as a place to meet others who are going through similar experiences (discover many other opportunities for meeting people in our book, Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do?)

4.    Spend some time with children and/or grandchildren. Visits can be kept short if that’s more convenient for you.

5.    Although your memory and concentration are probably impaired right now, others will understand. Remind yourself that these symptoms of grief will get better.

 

Remember to take one step at a time and try not to stay isolated from other people.

 

 

YOUR QUESTIONS

 

 

“My husband died 2 months ago. My birthday just came up but I didn’t feel like celebrating. My daughter wants to hold a party with close friends next month, but I’m not sure if it’s proper under the circumstances. What do you think?” Alice W.

 

If you feel up to it, by all means allow your family to celebrate you. It will provide a chance for others to come together for a happy occasion. Expect to feel some sadness though, because your husband won’t be there to share in the festivities. Rather than avoiding any mention of him however, try to include some remembrance of him from past celebrations. Expect feelings of loss to crop up at future gatherings and holidays, especially the first year following the death. Keep in mind that the pain does soften with time.

 

 

 

Discovered a coping strategy that works for you? Share it with others in future newsletters. Email us at: contact@lostmypartner.com

 

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell your friends and/or colleagues about it.

 

Receive a 25% discount when you buy the original, Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do? from our website: www.lostmypartner.com.

 

Telephone toll free at 1-877-727-3814.

 

 

(Copyright 2008 by Laurie J. Spector, M.S.W. and Ruth Spector Webster, M.S.W. All rights and all media reserved.)