March, 2009______________________________________________McCormick Press

VOL. VI, Issue 3                                                            www.lostmypartner.com

                                                                        newsletter@lostmypartner.com

 

 

The Lost My Partner Newsletter  

 

Brought to you monthly by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster, authors of Lost My Partner –What’ll I Do?  A Clear, Practical Guide For Coping and Finding Strength When Your Spouse Dies

 

 

 

This Month’s Feature: The 7 Best Private Places to Grieve

 

 

UPDATES FROM RUTH & LAURIE

 

Anyone experiencing a loss knows how suddenly tears can be triggered. Whether you’re at home or at work, painful reminders of our loved one can strike without warning. This month’s feature article offers some options for finding the privacy you need to shed those tears without the worry of interruptions.   

 

You can read more articles from our past newsletters anytime by going to www.lostmypartner.com.  

 

Our website also offers the opportunity to read a sample chapter from our recently released Lost My Partner-What’ll I Do? Revised and Expanded Edition. Find out more at: www.lostmypartner.com.

 

Please stay in touch and share any ideas or suggestions with us. We can be reached at: contact@lostmypartner.com

 

Thanks for joining us.

Ruth and Laurie

 

 

 

MONTHLY FEATURE

 

The 7 Best Private Places to Grieve

 

Whether you’re at work or at home, it can be difficult to find the privacy to “let go” and shed some tears. Crying is a necessary release of pain and tension. Sometimes though, the tears just blindside you. It helps to have some places in mind that you can easily retreat to.

 

Some of our favorite spots are:

 

In the workplace:

 

1.    A restroom in the building.

2.    A stairwell.

3.    A secluded area nearby.

4.    Your car.

 

At home:

       

5.    The bathroom shower with the water running.

6.    Any room where others aren’t likely to disturb you, such as the garage or the laundry room.

7.    Any quiet nearby streets where you can take a walk.

8.    Your car.   

 

Although it’s sometimes inconvenient, remember that each tear helps move you through the process of mourning.

 

 

 

YOUR QUESTIONS

 

“My dad died just a year ago. My mom, who’s 80, recently started dating a widower who’s about the same age. I’m really having a problem with the idea of her dating after having been married to my dad for over 50 years. My mom seems really excited and happy with this guy but I can’t help feeling that she’s being disloyal to my dad. Am I being selfish?”     Alan C.

                                         

 

Your feelings are certainly understandable. It can be difficult adjusting to seeing your surviving parent in a romantic relationship with someone new. In addition to this situation appearing like disloyalty, it can also raise fears about another “loss”, i.e., losing your surviving parent’s affections toward you.  Although we usually urge those who have been widowed to take as long a time as possible to mourn their loss, your mother’s age is a factor here.  Keep in mind that she probably misses the companionship she had for 50 years with your father. Try to give her some space to explore new attachments. Gently discuss any concerns you may have and offer your support for this new phase of her life.

 

 

 

Discovered a coping strategy that works for you? Share it with others in future newsletters. Email us at: contact@lostmypartner.com

 

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell your friends and/or colleagues about it.

 

You can order either edition of Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do? from our website: www.lostmypartner.com.

 

Telephone toll free at 1-877-727-3814.

 

 

(Copyright 2009 by Laurie J. Spector, M.S.W. and Ruth Spector Webster, M.S.W. All rights and all media reserved.)