June, 2009______________________________________________                             McCormick Press

VOL. VI, Issue 6                               www.lostmypartner.com          www.lostmypartnerblog.com

The Lost My Partner Newsletter  

Brought to you monthly by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster, authors of Lost My Partner –What’ll I Do?  A Clear, Practical Guide For Coping and Finding Strength When Your Spouse Dies

This Month’s Feature: Vacationing Without Your Late Spouse/Partner

UPDATES FROM RUTH & LAURIE

Now that summer has arrived (okay, it isn’t official until the 21^st), you may be thinking about getting away for a vacation. If the whole idea of finding someone to accompany you seems too daunting, and/or the notion of traveling on your own feels uncomfortable, read this month’s feature article for some exciting options.

Look for your next edition of the Lost My Partner Newsletter in September.

Be sure to check out our new blog! You can now get more of our tips and suggestions several times a week, as well as comment on what we have to say and share your own tips with others. Just go to www.lostmypartnerblog.com.

If you’re new to blogs and want to leave your feedback, just click onto the highlighted “comments” at the bottom of each post (article). We’d love to hear from you!

Read more articles from our past newsletters anytime by going to www.lostmypartner.com.  

Our website also offers the opportunity to read a sample chapter from our recently released Lost My Partner-What’ll I Do? Revised and Expanded Edition. Find out more at: www.lostmypartner.com.

Please stay in touch and share any ideas or suggestions with us. We can be reached at: contact@lostmypartner.com

Thanks for joining us.
Ruth and Laurie

MONTHLY FEATURE

Vacationing Without Your Late Spouse/Partner

One of the most difficult steps after losing your spouse/partner is planning a vacation without him or her. You probably aren’t feeling like your usual self, so it can be hard to summon the happy anticipation that “getting away” used to bring. And visiting familiar places may bring back the pain of the pain.

Despite some discomforts, however, taking a vacation on your own can also be filled with pleasurable new discoveries and opportunities for gaining self-confidence. Before giving up on a trip this year, consider these options: 

WOMEN TRAVELERS

Many women either can’t find a travel companion or are uncomfortable
with the idea of traveling alone. In a recent report by Reuters, however, the CEO’s of the two leading international companies reported that six in 10 travelers today are women – up from five in 10 in 2007. In addition, 30% of female travelers today are booking their trips as solo travelers, traveling either alone or with women friends, despite their marital status.

Wanderlust and Lipstick (www.wanderlustandlipstick.com), is a wonderfully informative travel site packed with tips, information and tour options especially for women (some tours are open to men as well).





MEN TRAVELERS

While some men are comfortable traveling on their own, others may prefer not to. One option is to ask a friend or relative to share the experience.

A less conventional option, if you’re a man between 40 and 68 who enjoys dancing and socializing, is travel on a cruise ship as a “Gentleman Host”. With greater numbers of single women taking cruises, there’s a steady demand for eligible single men to provide dance partners. Aside from the opportunities to see the world at little cost, being a Gentleman Host offers numerous on-board benefits.

Visit the Gentleman Hosts Page on the Compass Speakers site (http://compassspeakers.com/gentleman_host.html) for more information.


GREAT EXPERIENCES FOR ANYONE GOING SOLO OR BRINGING THE KIDS/GRANDKIDS

Smithsonian Journeys (www.smithsonianjourneys.org ), is affiliated with the Smithsonian Institution and also offers a wide range of worldwide educational travel experiences. They have several tours for parents and kids.

Elderhostel (www.elderhostel.org ), is a non-profit program that combines learning with travel. Tours throughout the U.S. and the world are conducted by experts knowledgeable in the subjects you’re studying. Elderhostel offers Women Only tours as well as an Intergenerational Program, with educational adventures designed especially for grandparents (over age 55), and grandchildren.

FINDING AN ADULT TRAVEL COMPANION

The Travel Insider (www.thetravelinsider.info/info/links.html#singles), has an extensive Information Page that offers a wide variety of links to match sites, as well as to sites that provide information about different travel concerns.

YOUR QUESTIONS

”My husband died just a year ago. I’m having a problem with our daughter, who lives out of state. She’s been pushing me to sell my house and move into a retirement community near her.  I’m still comfortable in my home and have some close, long-time friendships. I don’t have any family besides my daughter, however, and I worry that if I don’t go along with her plans, she’ll get upset and won’t be there for me down the line when I need her. I don’t know how I’ll manage, as I’ve come to depend on my daughter a great deal since my husband’s death.”                                Jeanette L.

It’s easy to understand your anxiety about being potentially abandoned by your daughter. Make it clear to your daughter that you value your independence and, at this time, want to remain in the comfort and familiarity of your own home. It’s also important to cultivate the support of your friends. Get together with them and suggest ways to provide mutual care-giving in case one of you becomes ill or is otherwise in need of support. Keep in mind that although your daughter may be temporarily upset by your decision, right now, she’s still your child and will probably not abandon you when you need her in the future.

Discovered a coping strategy that works for you? Share it with others in future newsletters. Email us at: contact@lostmypartner.com

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell your friends and/or colleagues about it.

You can order either edition of Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do? from our website: www.lostmypartner.com.

Telephone toll free at 1-877-727-3814.

(Copyright 2009 by Laurie J. Spector, M.S.W. and Ruth Spector Webster, M.S.W. All rights and all media reserved.)