Nov./Dec. 2009______________________________________________                       McCormick Press

VOL. VI, Issue 9                                                                            www.lostmypartnerblog.com

                                                          www.lostmypartner.com

The Lost My Partner Newsletter  

Brought to you monthly by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster, authors of Lost My Partner –What’ll I Do?  A Clear, Practical Guide for Coping and Finding Strength When Your Spouse Dies

This Month’s Feature: 10 BEST WAYS TO GET THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS

UPDATES FROM RUTH & LAURIE

Wish the upcoming holiday season would just go away this year? If you’ve recently lost your spouse/partner, this can be one of the most difficult times of the year. Back by popular demand, this month’s feature provides proven strategies to ease you through the season.

And be sure to check out our new blog! You can now get more of our tips and suggestions several times a week, as well as comment on what we have to say and share your own tips with others. Just go to www.lostmypartnerblog.com.

If you’re new to blogs and want to leave your feedback, just click onto the highlighted “comments” at the bottom of each post (article). We’d love to hear from you!

Read more articles from our past newsletters anytime by going to www.lostmypartner.com.  

Our website also offers the opportunity to read a sample chapter from our recently released Lost My Partner-What’ll I Do? Revised and Expanded Edition. Find out more at: www.lostmypartner.com.

Please stay in touch and share any ideas or suggestions with us. We can be reached at: contact@lostmypartner.com

Thanks for joining us.
Ruth and Laurie

MONTHLY FEATURE

Ten Best Ways to Get Through the Holidays       

Dreading the upcoming holidays? If you’ve recently lost your spouse, the coming festivities can feel as unwelcome as Marley’s Ghost. Here are some tried and true strategies for facing the holiday season:

1)    Think ahead and try to anticipate how you’ll feel on each holiday.

2)    Even if you don’t join in the festivities, don’t remain alone all day. Spend some time with a friend.

3)    Considering your loss, don’t expect yourself to be as upbeat as usual. Expect some sadness as you take part in the festivities.

4)    To lessen the chance of emotional “sneak attacks”, make some time to grieve, either on the holiday or just before it.

5)    If you do choose to join in holiday activities, make some changes as to how much you do or become involved in.

6)    Contact the host or hostess before the get-together and let them know that you aren’t feeling like your usual self and may need to leave early.

7)    Give yourself the first 30 minutes after you arrive to adjust to a gathering where your spouse is no longer with you.

8)    Take your own car or alert a friend who is driving that you may want to leave early.

9)    If you start to feel overwhelmed, you can retreat to the bathroom or take a short walk for some private time.

10)If you choose to avoid the usual gatherings, consider

volunteering to serve meals at shelters, visiting shut-ins, or

spending the day at a movie or health spa.

Remember: You will get through this time. We’ve found that the anticipation is usually much worse than the actual events. Be sure to plan ahead and do only what is most comfortable for you.

YOUR QUESTIONS

My husband died two years ago. He was never very interested in traveling, but I was and now that he’s gone, I’m ready to start seeing new places. The problem is, I don’t have any friends who are able to join me and I don’t feel ready to go on my own. Any suggestions?

Cynthia B.

Good news! The travel industry is beginning to cater to solo travelers, especially women. Check out sites such as Lipstick and Wanderlust (www.lipstickandwanderlust.com) and Women Travel Tips (www.womentraveltips.com). To combine learning with travel, look into Smithsonian Journeys (www.smithsonianjourneys.org) and Elderhostel (www.exploritas.org), which offers additional “women only” tours. Many travel services geared for singles will help match you to suitable roommates. Bon Voyage!

Discovered a coping strategy that works for you? Share it with others in future newsletters. Email us at: contact@lostmypartner.com

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell your friends and/or colleagues about it.

You can order either edition of Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do? from our website: www.lostmypartner.com.

Telephone toll free at 1-877-727-3814.

(Copyright 2009 by Laurie J. Spector, M.S.W. and Ruth Spector Webster, M.S.W. All rights and all media reserved.)