January, 2010______________________________________________                       McCormick Press

VOL. VII, Issue 1                                                                          www.lostmypartnerblog.com

                                                         www.lostmypartner.com

The Lost My Partner Newsletter  

Brought to you monthly by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster, authors of Lost My Partner –What’ll I Do?  A Clear, Practical Guide for Coping and Finding Strength When Your Spouse Dies

This Month’s Feature: Five Simple Resolutions for a New Year Without Your Partner

UPDATES FROM RUTH & LAURIE

It’s hard to believe it’s already a new decade!

If you’re facing the year ahead with mixed emotions, this month’s feature article should help. Although it’s one of our oldies, it’s still a goodie, with practical suggestions to help you take some small but important first steps.

And be sure to check out our blog! You can now get more of our tips and suggestions several times a week, as well as comment on what we have to say and share your own tips with others. Just go to www.lostmypartnerblog.com.

If you’re new to blogs and want to leave your feedback, just click onto the highlighted “comments” at the bottom of each post (article). We’d love to hear from you!

Read more articles from our past newsletters anytime by going to www.lostmypartner.com.  

Our website also offers the opportunity to read a sample chapter from our recently released Lost My Partner-What’ll I Do? Revised and Expanded Edition. Find out more at: www.lostmypartner.com.

Please stay in touch and share any ideas or suggestions with us. We can be reached at: contact@lostmypartner.com

Thanks for joining us.
Ruth and Laurie

MONTHLY FEATURE

(Here’s the popular article from our January, 2005 issue)

FIVE SIMPLE RESOLUTIONS FOR A NEW YEAR WITHOUT YOUR PARTNER

Give yourself a big pat on the back! You’ve just survived the holidays, one of the toughest times for anyone grieving a loss. Now you’re probably looking ahead and wondering how you’ll ever make it through the next twelve months. Here are five suggestions to help gently ease you along the bumpy road of bereavement:

1. Remember to keep any resolutions realistic. You’re not your usual self while you’re grieving, so be gentle with yourself.

2. Set at least one small, “bite-size” goal every day, such as tackling a couple of tasks. Be sure to reward yourself after each effort.

3. Think back to the person you were before you married. Can you remember any hobbies or interests that you might have set aside due to family responsibilities? Consider participating in those former activities once again. Local adult schools or community groups offer many opportunities to freshen up your skills.

4. Reach out to others more. Make a new friend. While widowed groups offer the chance to meet others who can relate to what you’re going through, there are opportunities in your neighborhood such as clubs and organizations that can be great sources of meeting people who may share other interests with you.

5. Consider all the self-imposed barriers you’ve put up over the years about what you can and can’t do. Now is the time to confront those old beliefs about yourself.  Slowly begin to tackle a few of the things your spouse used to handle, such as minor household repairs or cooking.

If you can put even one of the above resolutions into action, you’ll be giving yourself the gift of greater self-confidence with which to face the new year.

YOUR QUESTIONS

“My husband died 2 years ago. Since then, I’ve learned how to use his computer. It’s very comforting to sit in his chair and remember how he used to spend time working at his computer.  But because the computer is an older one, I keep having technical problems with it. I’ve been calling my grown son to help me when problems come up, but he wants me to get a new computer. I’m really not ready to get rid of the old one, which has so many cherished memories of my beloved husband but my son is getting upset with me over this.”  Audrey K.

It’s a new year and a new decade. Although it’s a difficult step, consider buying a new computer but temporarily keeping the old one, until you feel ready to recycle or otherwise get rid of it.

Discovered a coping strategy that works for you? Share it with others in future newsletters. Email us at: contact@lostmypartner.com

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell your friends and/or colleagues about it.

You can order either edition of Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do? from our website: www.lostmypartner.com.

Telephone toll free at 1-877-727-3814.

(Copyright 2010 by Laurie J. Spector, M.S.W. and Ruth Spector Webster, M.S.W. All rights and all media reserved.)