February, 2010______________________________________________                       McCormick Press

VOL. VII, Issue 2                                                                          www.lostmypartnerblog.com

                                                         www.lostmypartner.com

The Lost My Partner Newsletter  

Brought to you monthly by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster, authors of Lost My Partner –What’ll I Do?  A Clear, Practical Guide for Coping and Finding Strength When Your Spouse Dies

This Month’s Feature: How to Beat the Valentine’s Blues If You’re Widowed

UPDATES FROM RUTH & LAURIE

If you’re facing Valentine’s Day with mixed emotions, this month’s feature article should help. Now enlarged, this popular article provides lots of useful ideas for getting through this holiday.

And be sure to check out our blog! You can now get more of our tips and suggestions several times a week, as well as comment on what we have to say and share your own tips with others. Just go to www.lostmypartnerblog.com.

If you’re new to blogs and want to leave your feedback, just click onto the highlighted “comments” at the bottom of each post (article). We’d love to hear from you!

Read more articles from our past newsletters anytime by going to www.lostmypartner.com.  

Our website also offers the opportunity to read a sample chapter from our recently released Lost My Partner-What’ll I Do? Revised and Expanded Edition. Find out more at: www.lostmypartner.com.

Please stay in touch and share any ideas or suggestions with us. We can be reached at: contact@lostmypartner.com

Thanks for joining us.
Ruth and Laurie

MONTHLY FEATURE

HOW TO BEAT THE VALENTINE’S BLUES IF YOU’RE WIDOWED

It’s all around you: painful reminders that you don’t have that “someone special” with whom to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Although your spouse/partner isn’t here to share the day, consider expanding your definition of what the word “love” really means.

This year, remind yourself that “love” isn’t just limited by the type of relationship you shared with your spouse/partner. By widening your scope a bit, you can embrace all the other relationships in your life where you give and receive affection. This can mean including relationships such as family members and good friends.

Use the Valentine’s holiday to show your appreciation of these other important personal relationships in some of the following ways:

1. Schedule an outing or meal such as lunch or dinner to get together with a good friend or family member.
2. Remember when you were a kid and gave valentines to friends and classmates? Revive this childhood custom with relatives and friends.
3. Show yourself some appreciation. Think back and list on a valentine card at least two things you’ve achieved since your spouse’s death that you used to think weren’t possible. It’s important to give yourself credit for the progress you’ve made.
4. Treat yourself to some pampering (a manicure or massage), or buy yourself a gift (hobby items or clothes or yes, a box of chocolates).

Remember that your marriage was just one of several caring relationships in your life. This year, begin a new tradition by celebrating all of them.

YOUR QUESTIONS

”My husband passed 8 months ago. I have to have a minor medical procedure and I’m supposed to have someone stay with me overnight.  Now that my husband is gone, I’m really missing his wonderful comfort and support. Our son lives out of town but I don’t want to bother him. What should I do?”         Cynthia C.

These situations tend to stir up our feelings of loss. Is your son aware of your upcoming procedure? If he is unable to be with you (and don’t make assumptions about this), consider asking a close friend or neighbor to spend the night. Most friends are happy to help, especially in a temporary situation.

Discovered a coping strategy that works for you? Share it with others in future newsletters. Email us at: contact@lostmypartner.com

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell your friends and/or colleagues about it.

You can order either edition of Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do? from our website: www.lostmypartner.com.

Telephone toll free at 1-877-727-3814.

(Copyright 2010 by Laurie J. Spector, M.S.W. and Ruth Spector Webster, M.S.W. All rights and all media reserved.)