May, 2010______________________________________________                          McCormick Press

VOL. VII, Issue 5                                                                        www.lostmypartnerblog.com

                                                        www.lostmypartner.com

The Lost My Partner Newsletter  

Brought to you monthly by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster, authors of Lost My Partner –What’ll I Do?  A Clear, Practical Guide for Coping and Finding Strength When Your Spouse Dies

MONTHLY FEATURE

Back by popular demand!

Getting the Family Through Mother’s Day and Father’s Day

Holidays can be difficult, especially during the first year after your loss. Like other holidays, Mother’s Day and Father’s Days are advertised everywhere and filled with reminders of happier family times.

These holidays may stir up the pain of loss for you, your children and grandchildren. Such occasions may also remind you of your own deceased parent(s).While others around them celebrate these occasions, children in particular can feel left out and troubled.

Try these tips with your family:

a) Acknowledge your own feelings of loss by talking about how you miss your spouse. When children see you sad or tearful it lets them know their own feelings are normal.

b) Have younger children create “remembering” cards, with photos or drawings of special memories about their parent or grandparent.

c) You may find it comforting to visit the cemetery or other places of remembrance on the holiday.

d) If there is a family gathering, make some time to share fond or funny memories of your loved one.

The feelings these holidays stir up won’t just go away. It’s best to acknowledge the occasions, even briefly, especially with children. Denying or avoiding a holiday tends to result in “delayed reactions”, where the emotions come up in unexpected ways. 

YOUR QUESTIONS

”I’m nearing 90. My beloved wife passed about 6 months ago after a long illness. I’m interested in seeking the companionship of a lady who has also been widowed. Do you think it’s too soon for me to start dating?”

Herbert H.

This is a very personal decision. If your wife had a lengthy illness, chances are you’ve gone through a period of “anticipatory” grief. Considering your age, dating this soon after your loss would not necessarily be inappropriate. Our best advice however, is always do what feels right for you.

DISCOVER MORE

Be sure to check out our blog. You can now get more of our tips and suggestions several times a week, as well as comment on what we have to say and share your own tips with others. Just go to www.lostmypartnerblog.com.

If you’re new to blogs and want to leave your feedback, just click onto the highlighted “comments” at the bottom of each post (article). We’d love to hear from you!

Read more articles from our past newsletters anytime by going to www.lostmypartner.com.  

Please stay in touch and share any ideas or suggestions with us. We can be reached at: contact@lostmypartner.com

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell your friends and/or colleagues about it.

You can order either edition of Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do? from our website: www.lostmypartner.com.

Telephone toll free at 1-877-727-3814.

(Copyright 2010 by Laurie J. Spector, M.S.W. and Ruth Spector Webster, M.S.W. All rights and all media reserved.)