July, 2010______________________________________________                          McCormick Press

VOL. VII, Issue 7                                                                        www.lostmypartnerblog.com

                                                        www.lostmypartner.com

The Lost My Partner Newsletter  

Brought to you monthly by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster, authors of Lost My Partner –What’ll I Do?  A Clear, Practical Guide for Coping and Finding Strength When Your Spouse Dies

MONTHLY FEATURE

Going Back to Work

Part 2: Your Reactions

In Part 1 of this excerpt from Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do?, we discussed the various ways your coworkers may react to you once you return to work.

We now focus on your own reactions to being on the job following your loss.

-          Be prepared for unexpected tears. During the first week at work, there may be moments when you find yourself tearful. This lessens with time, but for now, give yourself permission to retreat to the restroom or other secluded area for a good cry or to compose yourself. Many find giving themselves this release helps relieve the pressure of having to control feelings of grief while at work.

-          Be prepared to experience some difficulty with memory and concentration. These are common but temporary grief reactions. While you may feel frustrated and anxious about this change, try to be patient with yourself. It helps to reread and/or go over information or tasks more than once.

-          Your boss or coworkers may have unrealistic expectations. Assure them you’re doing your best, and that any slowdown on your part is temporary.

Despite how others may react, it’s important for you to recognize that what is going on is normal and temporary. With time and patience (especially your own), you will regain the capacity you used to have to do your job.

YOUR QUESTIONS

”My beloved husband passed a year and a half ago. The 4^th of July was always special for us because that’s when we had our first date. We celebrated each year with a picnic at the local park, where we watched fireworks. Last year, I stayed home and even though I usually love fireworks, I couldn’t even watch them on TV. This year, my family wants me to join them for a celebration at the park, but I’m not sure I’m up to it. What should I do?”

Cynthia J.

After a loss, it’s difficult returning to places that hold cherished memories. Try joining your family this year. While you’ll probably feel some sadness, there may also be some moments of pleasure. Keep in mind that it does get easier with time.

DISCOVER MORE

Be sure to check out our blog. You can now get more of our tips and suggestions several times a week, as well as comment on what we have to say and share your own tips with others. Just go to www.lostmypartnerblog.com.

If you’re new to blogs and want to leave your feedback, just click onto the highlighted “comments” at the bottom of each post (article). We’d love to hear from you!

Read more articles from our past newsletters anytime by going to www.lostmypartner.com.  

Please stay in touch and share any ideas or suggestions with us. We can be reached at: contact@lostmypartner.com

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell your friends and/or colleagues about it.

You can order either edition of Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do? from our website: www.lostmypartner.com.

Telephone toll free at 1-877-727-3814.

(Copyright 2010 by Laurie J. Spector, M.S.W. and Ruth Spector Webster, M.S.W. All rights and all media reserved.)